Emotional Night

Last night I spent a large portion of the evening in a pity party. I try very hard to stay positive in my life and to appreciate my blessings but last night was not a night I felt like that! Didn't help that I drank a glass of wine and it seemed to rev up my emotions, then the hubby had to help my dad for an hour or so and left me alone at home, and then finally I turned on my favorite satellite radio station on the TV and it seemed to only play songs that triggered my emotions even more.

I try to really keep my life in check, to appreciate all I have, to enjoy my life and be mindful of the relatively little control I have on most things and be grateful for the way things turn out----even though they may not be the exact plan I had in my mind it always works out for the best.

But last night was a pity party! The kind where I cried for a lot longer than I wanted to. The kind where the hubby tried to be realistic with me when he got home and I told him "No, this is not the time when I want to hear about all I should be happy/grateful about". For a time I just wanted to wallow in the things I felt were the end of the world (to me) and totally not fair!

Hubby did a good job though.....he let me wallow, he let me cry, he hugged me. But he did not let me dwell too long.....he transitioned the mood very smoothly! Making me feel the way I felt and validating that....and slowly working the mood back to being appreciative. He did great! When I said that I sometimes wish I had never started certain things in our lives currently he said no....that he was happy that we had started our venture regardless of the outcome.....that we are spending time with someone that we love and adore....that we would not have otherwise....we are creating a relationship with a family that we did not know on the level we know now....that we have started the process to continue in a direction that may give us more that we ever hoped for....and cause more hurt, love and emotion than we can imagine.

So thankful for the Hubby last night! Though I was exhausted and went to bed early....not quite as uplifted as I normally am because I was so drained from my mini-breakdown.....I was in a better place because of him.

Love, S