Emotional Night

Last night I spent a large portion of the evening in a pity party. I try very hard to stay positive in my life and to appreciate my blessings but last night was not a night I felt like that! Didn't help that I drank a glass of wine and it seemed to rev up my emotions, then the hubby had to help my dad for an hour or so and left me alone at home, and then finally I turned on my favorite satellite radio station on the TV and it seemed to only play songs that triggered my emotions even more.

I try to really keep my life in check, to appreciate all I have, to enjoy my life and be mindful of the relatively little control I have on most things and be grateful for the way things turn out----even though they may not be the exact plan I had in my mind it always works out for the best.

But last night was a pity party! The kind where I cried for a lot longer than I wanted to. The kind where the hubby tried to be realistic with me when he got home and I told him "No, this is not the time when I want to hear about all I should be happy/grateful about". For a time I just wanted to wallow in the things I felt were the end of the world (to me) and totally not fair!

Hubby did a good job though.....he let me wallow, he let me cry, he hugged me. But he did not let me dwell too long.....he transitioned the mood very smoothly! Making me feel the way I felt and validating that....and slowly working the mood back to being appreciative. He did great! When I said that I sometimes wish I had never started certain things in our lives currently he said no....that he was happy that we had started our venture regardless of the outcome.....that we are spending time with someone that we love and adore....that we would not have otherwise....we are creating a relationship with a family that we did not know on the level we know now....that we have started the process to continue in a direction that may give us more that we ever hoped for....and cause more hurt, love and emotion than we can imagine.

So thankful for the Hubby last night! Though I was exhausted and went to bed early....not quite as uplifted as I normally am because I was so drained from my mini-breakdown.....I was in a better place because of him.

Love, S

Wow--Who Would Have Thought?

So over the years I have attempted to put myself on a budget but have never succeeded. I usually go a few days then get bored and go shop and spend money on a bunch of things I don't need. Or I get an idea of something I want to do to my house or an outfit idea and I will search high and low to find something I want---usually never finding the "perfect" item I see in my head but finding and buying many other things along the adventure.

For the last few months though I have really made the effort to stop needlessly and unnecessarily spending and shopping.

And you know what--its working! I have bought many less items, I have started to really think about what I am buying and why, and I am saving money!!! Our bank account is growing and our debt is shrinking. I am as happy or even happier (no more buyers remorse if I'm not buying) than I already was. Now--I have still bought a few things here and there but they are things that are extremely inexpensive, that I really did need, and that I really mulled over before deciding if I could afford it and if I really did want and/or need it.

Staying out of the mall---that has helped a ton! Still going to Target as much or more than before (I LOVE TARGET!) but not just throwing any random thing I see in the cart.

I am spending more time at home or with friends/family doing things that don't involve much money. And we are having as much fun as we ever have!!

So---I am proud to say I am starting to shop and save money like a real adult!

I just hope that I can continue, I really think I can.........I will keep you all posted :)

Love, S

Now Molly Takes Pilates????

So as you all know my Molly has a life that is quite, well, privileged! While I am in KC on a work trip she spent a few days and nights with her favorite friends---our nieces---ages 8 (well in about 7 weeks) and 10. Those girls love Molly~~~as most young girls would love a small, white, fluffy, cuddly doggie!


But don't think that they are the only ones. My sister-in-law, the non-dog wanting mother of two, loves Molly more than she lets known. Sure she is always nice to her and loves her---but I have always thought mostly for my benefit---to make sure she loves my "baby". But I am seeing more and more that she actually really does enjoy Molly.


Prime example today! I received this pic via text today from my (and my SIL's) pilates instructor. Molly spent all day with my SIL and even went to the pilates studio with her today. Now during the class she was kept in her crate but she still got plenty of attention and even spent a little time on the reformer*!!!


Is this not the cutest thing?

Love, S

*No animals were hurt or mistreated taking this picture~more accurately the animal photographed enjoyed being the center of attention of many women, was hugged and kissed repeatedly, and overall fawned over as the Diva Dog that she has grown to be*

Sometimes Life is Just Plain Not Fair!!!

I am at a point where I am realizing once again how unfair life can be sometimes. I should not be surprised by this fact nor should I truly feel that I am one who life has been unfair to. I have been lucky enough to enjoy a life of blessings that many would love.

But.....as we all know there are times when even the best of lives have moments in which you wonder why things happen the way they do.

I find myself thinking of children. Not my (our) unfortunate luck of not having our own children--but the parents that find themselves with children that they do not want, do not love, do not treasure.

I find the irony just "ironic"! Here I am.....with the great husband, the solid marriage, the two good jobs, the close extended family, all the settings for a so-called picture-perfect family in which to raise children----children that we consiciously want!

I am witness to a mother who does not want her baby. Who does not care for this child. That "endangered" (though I would call it something much worse) this child. She doesn't want this child. She doesn't want to raise it, love it, nurture it, treasure it.

But she refuses to give it up. She fights---she has little else to do---and she prolongs this child of a family, a permanent place to call her home. She claims she loves this child, that she is the mother. Well....when will being a mother mean more than just being able to conceive and deliver a baby.

As hubby and I have watched this story unfold, and are slowly venturing into the world of foster care ourselves----we wonder if we are ready for this. We know we are ready for the children----we don't know that we are ready for the parents like this one. To dedicate ourselves to help "reunite" children with these parents that have taken them for granted. And to give a home, permanently, to the ones that despite all efforts cannot be reunited.

Life is just plain not fair sometimes!!!!!

Love, S

Weekends Go So FASTTTTTTT

I love weekends.

I love the freedom, the downtime, the time to catch up on house stuff.



Most Mon-Friday workers love the weekends.



They just go so fast! It seems like there is so much to do with too little time.



This weekend in particular went super fast. We got to spend some time with a special family friend. So happy to have had the time together.



Here's to many more weekends like this one!



Love, S

What Could be Worse

I work with a woman that I think is the definition of a great mom. She loves her children more than anything but respects their adult lives in a way that is supportive but allows them independence. Her grandkids are also the biggest joy in her life!

This year she decided she would retire at the end of the year. At 62 she has the looks and energy or a 40 year old. She is loyal and dedicated and smart! I was sad to hear her decision but so happy for her to have this new chapter start--retirement!

Things were going great---then about 3 weeks ago her husband suddenly was laid off from his job of 20+ years. Though he was contemplating retirement soon for himself it was more than likely another year off. So this was quite a sudden shock as well as a real blow to the ego of a 62 year old man who has provided for his family well his entire life.

But then the worst happened! Last week they got the news that every parent---no matter the age of their children--can imagine. One of their 3 children, their middle child and youngest daughter, was diagnosed with cancer--PPC (primary peritoneal cancer).

Please visit the blog set up for Lisa Stockam King.

www.helplisafight.blogspot.com

Love, S

Been a long time

I have not been on here for so long! I don't have one great reason as to why. I have lots of mediocre reasons!

First--I was so discouraged after 4 failed fertility treatments in a row I didn't want to blog about them or anything else for that matter.

Second--my computer was having some slowness for quite a while---seems to be better now after I had it checked and updated/upgraded some things.

Third--I didn't really have much to blog about that seemed very blog-worthy!

Four--I actually do have something going on that is VERY blog-worthy but I can't talk/share/talk about it much yet. Just know that if it works out it will be the answer to our prayers!

So---for those of you completely in the dark---no worries! Just pray! Wish us luck and send us happy thoughts. I will share and update you all as soon as I can---if it works out!

Love, S